30 Days Down Memory Lane Day #16: A Recall From The Military

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Engagement PhotoHere are the other posts in this challenge I’m participating in:

Yesterday you got to find out about our decision to create new life after losing hubby’s father, and today I’ll be sharing with you another rock that was thrown at us: hubby’s recall to full duty after 2 years of the inactive reserves.

For those of you who don’t know what happens to someone that is discharged (honorably) from the military, he or she usually has to go through a certain amount of years as an inactive reservist.  What this means is that the government can decide to call the soldier back into full time duty for whatever reason at any time until their inactive duty is up.  It is VERY rare and has only happened a handful of times in American history, which is why there isn’t very much information out there on this topic.

This is what happened to us.  I’ll never forget the day it happened.  I was 5 months pregnant, getting off of work, living a “normal” life on a “normal” day.  When hubby picked me up from work I never imagined that my life would be flipped upside down.

I could tell something was really bothering him when I got into the car and he was acting quite strangely.  I asked him if everything was ok and he didn’t hesitate to say “no.”  I have something I need to tell you and you’re not going to like it.”

He pulled into a park nearby and I began to get very frightened.  For him to have to stop the car and talk to me about whatever it was he needed to say meant that it was very major.  My mind raced a thousand miles an hour.  What could be so important that he’d need to talk to me about?  Did someone else die?  Was he cheating on me?  Was he leaving me???  I never even guessed that it could have something to do with the military.

“The Military is sending me to Iraq,” he said slowly.

At first it didn’t sink in.  I must’ve heard that wrong, right?  He’s out of the military!!!  How could this be happening?!?!?!

“I’ll be going to South Carolina for 6 months of training and then I’ll be going to Iraq for 6 more months,”  He continued.  “The military won’t be paying to send you there, and given our financial situation, we probably won’t be able to move you with me.”

With every word the shock of the situation slowly began to sink in.

“Am I going to lose you?”  Was all I could squeak out before the tears began to flow without my consent.  I couldn’t believe this was happening.  After all of our efforts to avoid this very situation by getting hubby discharged it’s only getting thrown back into our faces in the worst possible way ever!  How was I going to take care of this baby by myself?  It wasn’t fare that hubby wasn’t going to be able to spend very much time with our baby before he had to leave.  Why me???  What did I do to deserve this?!?!?!  Was God punishing me for something I didn’t know I did?

I don’t know how long we spent at the park crying and holding each other since time seemed to stand still.  When we finally left we decided to go to our bible study we always went to so we could get prayer.  When we got there I burst into tears again and had to run to the bathroom to gather myself.  The rest of the day was pretty much like this for me.  I even sobbed myself to sleep.

It took nearly a month before the initial shock finally wore off, but then it turned into anger (as if I needed any more of that!).  A few of my friends had baby showers that didn’t go so well for me.  I was constantly angry and jealous about the fact that they got to raise their babies with their husbands there at all times, but I got ripped off and faced the possibility of losing mine.  To make matters worse, I grew up without my father (even though I had a step-dad, it wasn’t the same) and I was very afraid of the same thing happening to my daughter-to-be.

Those 5 months leading up to hubby’s departure were absolutely agonizing!  Then I had my daughter and I was about to find out that things were going to be much worse than I ever thought possible!

Stay tuned tomorrow to find out about my traumatizing labor and the first month of our daughter’s life.

Related posts:

  1. 30 Days Down Memory Lane Day #2: Getting To Know Each Other Over The Phone
  2. 30 Days Down Memory Lane Day #6: Getting Engaged
  3. 30 Days Down Memory Lane Day #7: Details About The Big Question
  4. 30 Days Down Memory Lane Day #11: Our Blissful Wedding
  5. 30 Days Down Memory Lane Day #12: Our First Big Fight

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