30 Days Down Memory Lane Day #20: Visiting Hubby Once Last Time Before He Left For Iraq

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Here are the other posts in this challenge I’m participating in:

Living in Oklahoma with my MIL while hubby was in North Carolina training for war was a scary experience and one I don’t wish to relive. Nevertheless it forced me out of my comfort zone and taught me many life lessons I never would’ve learned otherwise. By the time hubby went away to Iraq I was well prepared for it.

Thankfully my MIL agreed to take care of Ariela while I visited Travis in North Carolina for a 4 day weekend. When I flew in we immediately drove straight up to Washington DC to check out our nation’s capital. It was a lot of fun learning about our nation’s history with the man I love, especially right before he was to be deployed. It kind of made the whole deployment more meaningful to me.

Our weekend was very blissful and fun, but it was short lived. It seemed like as soon as I landed there I was off again, back home to Oklahoma away from the love of my life. But since I got to see Washington DC and all the names and graves of the ones who gave their lives for our freedom, I left feeling very proud that I was participating in a small way towards the same thing. I also, at that point, made a promise to myself that I would one day be a source of help to anyone making the same sacrifices as myself. It’s so ironic that I’m here today, sharing my story with you (especially the military) and helping others who are struggling just as I was (and still do at times…gotta clarify that one ).

When I left, I again had a huge sense of longing and loneliness. Leaving my husband was so hard, especially since I knew he would be leaving for Iraq very soon and I was afraid of losing him for good. Nevertheless, I sucked it up, erased the scary thoughts of him getting shot, and got back to caring for my daughter. I refused to be the weak, co-dependent mommy I would have been if I hadn’t gone through this experience.

Things changed quite a bit when hubby actually left for Iraq. The job they ended up dropping him in was not his original job before he got out (Nuclear Biological Chemical Deference {NBC}). Instead it was traffic control and it was meant to be an officer’s job, so he had to work very long hours, usually ranging between 12 and 14 hours a day with absolutely no days off. This meant that I rarely got to talk to him on the phone. I cried many nights when I was missing him the most, but as the months went on I simply got used to it.

The worst of the deployment was learning how to deal with my chronic fear, anger, and stress without the security of hubby. Sleeping at night was almost impossible for a while.

Stay tuned tomorrow to learn about the many bizarre nights I dealt with alone and how I learned how to make it stop with the help of my Lord and Savior.